The glass is more than half-empty, but I will not surrender to despondency. I am blessed to live here, now, in this hive of boisterous festivity. And soft! What light from yonder wall-mounted LCD TV breaks? It is the ingenuity of the sidesaddle CFM boot-wig. Surmount, fair footwear, and kill my envious melancholy, who is already blanched and sick with intoxication. That thou, her mistress, art more awesome to the max than she.